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« KORRA HERE! LEAVE A MESSAGE. YOU CAN DO THAT RIGHT? »

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( it's so natural, she doesn't even think about it. she leans into him, lets him kiss her, but it's too short for her to really kiss back. there's no question about if it's okay or not - he's smiling, she's smiling, and her eyes had gone hooded somewhere in between him touching her cheek, so she opens them now and.

and.

for some reason, she's expecting asami to be looking back at her.

it's an awful crash of feelings. her face drops from happiness down to near horror as she realizes what she's done. she works in an effort to actively not hurt mako, but in doing so she's. forced herself to do exactly that. what did she expect would happen? she wants to kiss him a million more times, but. she can't hurt asami, either. she loves them both so much she thinks her heart might burst at the notion of. choosing one over the other, letting whoever gets left behind feel the burn of dejected isolation.

korra knows it too well. she doesn't want to hurt anyone. her hands both clap over her kissed mouth, eyes a little wide but - she can't let mako think he did anything wrong either. she just blurts out, )

I have to tell you something!

( ugh. she groans and hangs her head, hands flattening out on her face. she isn't moving off him, though. not until she gets this out. )

It's — Asami.

[resistivity]

( his expression sort of undergoes a series of shifts, from happy and contented to confused to. set, as if he's expecting some horrible recrimination. he knows korra well enough to read the language of her body, and he. just. sort of.

extricates himself out from beneath her so he can sit a short distance away. his brows are drawn down in serious consideration. )

What? Is she here? Is she okay?

( if so, it's an odd time to bring that up, but. you know. korra doesn't have the world's best timing. )

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No.

( she lets him go. she wishes asami were here, so she could know what to do about all this. but. it's just korra, and it's just mako, and now they're a foot apart even though they were just having such a good time - korra shouldn't have pinned him. she shouldn't have done a million things, not the first of which is keeping everything from him.

it's uncomfortable. not only because it's mako, and then it's korra and asami, but. sexuality. she's never had to voice it out loud before, explain it to anyone, figure out. how they're going to respond. what mako's going to do. is he going to hate her? won't he have every right?

abruptly, )

We like each other, I think. ( her gaze is locked on a very interesting pebble, knees pulling up to her chest so she can wrap around them. ) I like her. I think she likes me. We aren't dating, but I think ... maybe we will. Maybe. I don't know.

( if she and asami had a Confession, it'd be different. and - if they had the Mako Talk. but. they haven't. they've barely held hands. )

I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner, but I was ... ( i didn't want to hurt you. she shakes her head. ) I'm sorry.

[resistivity]

( whatever he was expecting, it wasn't. that. she's lucky she's not looking at him, because his expression goes from concerned to angry in the span of a heartbeat. but it doesn't last. it's just there, and then it burns itself out, and he's left with something guarded and neutral, because korra could've easily stopped him from kissing her, and she didn't.

it's just. one more element in the cycle of how they are with each other. everything's good, and then it hurts. something aches in his chest and all the happy lightness he'd felt just moments earlier have curled into ash like burnt paper.

korra and asami. dating? he's not sure what to make of that. but it. explains a few things. like why korra wrote to her and not him. that takes an old wound and twists the knife in the slick messy ichor of it, and mako drops his attention to the ground where it's charred with the dance of firesign. )

I see.

( a year ago, he would have yelled at her. maybe even just a few months. but he'd never tasted death as closely and as intimately as he has now, and it. changed him in a few impossible, irrevocable ways. the anger is a coiled thing somewhere deep beneath his ribcage, but he can calm it. it's like bending the water around a spirit and changing its nature as an act of will. until he can, he'll guard it closely. )

Well, you already know I think Asami's great, so... I hope it goes well for you both.

( but he's not going to. sit here. and he doesn't want to talk to her any more, or spar, or do much of anything. so he gets to his feet. )

I'll see you back at the temple, Korra.

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( words are like knives. the korra of an age ago would've tossed fire at his back and yelled, because that was how she dealt with guilt and sorrow. but. korra's been made aware of her flaws in the last few years. she's understanding to all her shortcomings, every which way she ruined the peace between them. she wonders if she'll ever be able to look at mako and not want to kiss him, not remember how good it feels to be with him, to love him - guiltless, uncomplicated, eternally.

it's not the life she has, now. everything is complicated. she knows she messed up. she watches the shrug of his shoulders disappear in the distance, and only when he's out of reach does she release the breath she was holding in, fingers racing sharply through her hair. this is the part where she runs away again, where she tries to figure out why she is the way she is, why she can never seen to do anything right. she can't put a world of distance between them now, but she can give him space, let him seethe and be angry and turn that anger - maybe into hate. she'd understand.

she just occupies her time somewhere isolated and lonely, feeling sorry for herself. she doesn't care about bending, anymore. she hurt mako, and that's all that matters. )